Destination Date Night: Marrakesh

When we got married, the Hubs and I set aside Friday evenings as our regular date night. Sometimes date night means we go out; sometimes it means we stay in and do something special together at home. For Christmas, I gave the Hubs a DVD set that I found at Costco: Jamie Oliver's Food Escapes. It's a 6-volume set in which Jamie Oliver (a.k.a. The Naked Chef) travels to various cities to experience and introduce the viewer to the local customs, culture, and cuisine. My idea behind it was this: for those weeks when a low-budget date night is in order, we'll stay in, watch one of the travelogues, learn something together, and enjoy a home-made (or perhaps take-out) dinner representative (or at least somewhat resembling) the cuisine of the featured country.

This last Friday was our first of these "Destination Date Nights," in which we savored a Moroccan-inspired dish (keep reading for the recipe) and went along with Jamie on his adventures in Marrakesh. The evening ended with an SDP (spontaneous dance party), attended by Brutus (who is still adorned with the ornaments of the season). He's a bit of a wallflower, though.

Moroccan-spiced Chickpea Chili

2 tsp olive oil
1 medium onion, diced
1 cup diced carrot
2 cloves garlic, minced
2 tsp ground cumin
2 tsp smoked paprika
1 tsp ground ginger
1/2 tsp ground turmeric
1/4 tsp freshly ground black pepper
1/4 tsp salt
1/8 tsp ground cinnamon
1/8 ground cayenne pepper
1 1/2 cups chicken or vegetable broth
1 cup crushed tomatoes
1 (14.5 oz) can diced tomatoes, undrained
1 (29-oz) can chickpeas, drained and rinsed
1/4 cup fresh cilantro, chopped
1 Tb lemon juice

Heat oil in a dutch oven over med-high heat. Add onion, carrot, and garlic to pan; saute 5 minutes. Stir in spices (cumin through cayenne); cook 1 minute, stirring constantly. Add broth, crushed tomatoes, diced tomatoes, and chickpeas. Bring to a boil, then cover, reduce heat, and simmer 20 minutes. Remove from heat and stir in cilantro and lemon juice. Salt to taste.

This chili has a nice heat to it without being too spicy (for my tastes). Besides being a low-budget wonder, it's also vegetarian (if you use veg broth) and gluten-free (if that's a concern for you). 

A Vacation Alphabet - Part 4

J is for Journey Companion
A long road trip can be a good test of just how well two people get along. Our drive to Colorado and back was the longest road trip Travis and I have taken together, and I just have to say, there's nothing quite as sweet as having the perfect companion for the journey. Not that either of us are perfect (far from it!), but our vacation this summer was just one more compelling illustration of how we are perfect for each other. Love you, hubs.

K is for Kaleidoscope

That's what this sculpture reminded me of as I gazed up at it, squinting against the strong Colorado sun.

L is for Landmark (and the obligatory photos we take with them)

 

The alphabet continues on the other side of the weekend!  

Spaghetti Squash

If you've been following my blog this fall, yes, I've been a bit obsessed with squash. Once I got past the intimidation factor, you see, there was no turning back - they're just too good! And there are so many different ways to prepare them!

Last night I cooked my first spaghetti squash. Oh my! Spaghetti squash, where have you been all my life? I let this recipe be my guide (halved for one squash and just the two of us), and dinner was served. Husband was equally in awe of this magical foodstuff. Our post-dinner conversation in the kitchen went something like this:

DH: How'd you get it to do that?
ME: I just split it in half (without hurting myself...whee!), drizzled it with olive oil, sprinkled on some salt and pepper, and then roasted it on a baking sheet at 450, cut side down, for about 40 minutes. Then I took it out, let it cool, scraped the flesh out with a fork, and VOILA! Spaghetti from a squash.
DH: [shaking head in wonderment] Who thought of such a thing?
ME: Um, God.

It Just Keeps Getting Better

Yesterday was my one year wedding anniversary. Last week as I looked through our wedding photos again all of the excitement, joy, wonder, and elation of that day came rushing back to me. Our wedding day was glorious, indeed, but it was just one day. That one day, however, launched a lifetime of us, the first year of which has been the best year of my life so far. 

Travis and I celebrated our first year of marriage in a number of different ways all weekend long. Since the traditional 1st anniversary gift is paper, I surprised him Friday evening with a blanket of origami hearts. We enjoyed a low-key, low-budget date night at home (we made pizza together and watched Letters to Juliet) to counter-balance our not-so-low-budget celebration to come on Sunday.

On Saturday we met up with Travis' sister and brother-in-law and our niece at the Apple Festival in Long Grove, followed by dinner at their place. Since my sister-in-law was instrumental in how Travis and I came to meet and fall in love, it seemed very fitting to spend part of our anniversary weekend with them. As we were driving away from Long Grove we were even blessed with the sight of a HUGE rainbow. We pulled over and I managed to get a shot, which captures just a portion of its size and beauty.

 This photo is 70% about my SIL and niece, and 30% about the people in the background who were dancing with their dachshunds.

When we arrived home Saturday night I found surprise number one waiting for me: a beautiful flower arrangement showcasing the colors of autumn that I love so much. Tucked in the arrangement was this sweet note from my thoughtful husband, which constituted his "paper" gift to me.

My love for you is like the colors of autumn:

Deep, Rich, Bright, and Warm.

I offer these flowers of the fall along with my heart.

- Hubby

Surprise number two (my hubby LOVES to surprise me) came Sunday afternoon in the form of where we went for dinner: Art Smith's Table 52 in Chicago, where we indulged in gourmet comfort food, including THE BEST macaroni and cheese EVER. So creamy and rich, however, that even between the two of us we only finished half the portion, and took the rest home. Though I had declared I couldn't possibly eat another bite of mac and cheese, when the dessert menu came, I pored over the options with great interest. Trav asked how could this be, when I had just announced myself stuffed? I explained that "dinner food" requires its own distinct space in the stomach, while dessert (especially chocolate) possesses the ability to simply fill in the cracks and crevices around the rest of the meal, and so there is virtually always room for dessert. He shook his head at me in wonder and bemusement, and then agreed to share a slice of the 12-layer chocolate cake. He's a good man.

Dinner was followed by the Broadway in Chicago production of The Lion King at the Cadillac Palace Theatre. I've wanted to see this show for years and years. It was both familiar (in story and music) and brand new (in amazing costumes and voices and gorgeous set design) and held my rapt attention from start to finish.

 The whole weekend was a wonderful celebration of our first year as husband and wife. And as one of "our songs" (Amazed by Lonestar) rightly says, It just keeps getting better.

Dancing in the Minefields

One of the things I love about attending weddings is getting to watch the older couples dance - you know, the couples with wrinkled faces and gnarled hands who have weathered decades together as husband and wife, who may be a little stooped or whose once-smooth moves may be reduced to a shuffle, but who nevertheless move as one and portray in their shared gaze a depth of comfort and understanding that inspires awe and makes you yearn for the same. Couples who have danced in the minefields and sailed through the storms. They're someone's grandparents, or great aunt and uncle, or neighbors. They're my heroes.

Of course, dancing couples needn't be geriatric to garner my attention and respect, and weddings aren't the only place to witness dancing. Case in point: while wandering around Granada during our trip to Spain in June, we came upon a plaza with a stage, a band, and a collection of couples dancing to the music in the heat of the day. To us it was unexpected, unexplained, and magical. We joined the crowd gathered around the perimeter and watched, with grins on our faces and the promise of a lifetime in our clasped hands.

eat. pray. love.

eat: Curried Coconut Chicken

pray: for unemployed friends who need jobs

love: this video showing a couple with love and spunk and teamwork after 62 years of marriage

Valentine's Getaway, How Do I Love Thee?

Let me count the ways.

As are many of our shared activities, how we would spend Valentine's Day this year was a surprise (for me) and an event lovingly planned with great relish (for Travis). Going into it, all I *officially* knew was that we were going away for two nights, and that I should pack a couple casual outfits, a couple dressy outfits, and something warm for cross-country skiing. (Unofficially, I had a pretty strong hunch that we were headed to Galena for the weekend; at  dinner with friends a few weeks back, Galena came up in conversation and I noticed how Travis perked up, tuned in, asked questions, and offered opinions like someone VERY interested in the quaint little town).

1.  The private villa Travis reserved for us at Eagle Ridge Resort was the perfect setting for our romantic retreat. We had a one-bedroom town home all to ourselves. The first floor had a kitchen and dining area, living room with fireplace (where we enjoyed a fire each evening), and (hurray!) a washer and dryer. Now, some people might think that taking along several loads of laundry on a romantic weekend getaway is, well, pretty unromantic. However, my understanding husband knows that coming home to all of that laundry, with no time during the following week to get it done, would have stressed me out, and that I would find a great deal of satisfaction in getting it done (with machines all to myself, no less!) over the weekend. So, three baskets of dirty laundry came with us, and three baskets of clean clothes, towels, and underwear came home. Happy day. Upstairs was bedroom, along with a nice big bathroom and a tub with spa jets. Ahhhh...

2. The weekend included my first attempt at cross-country skiing. In general, I panic when an activity involves strapping things to my feet and moving with any degree of speed and any uncertainty of stopping (downhill skiing, ice skating, rollerblading, etc.). This was no exception, but I still really enjoyed myself, and being out there getting some good exercise with my husband was a gift. Yes, I screamed on a few of the downhill parts, and fell down several times (a few times on accident, more times as my only recourse for stopping my momentum), and still had sore muscles several days later, but overall I can honestly say that I had fun, and would do it again. 

3. Both Sunday and Monday afternoon were spent ambling up and down Galena's Main Street, popping in and out of all the different little shops and browsing the variety of wares. Highlights included a wine tasting at Galena Cellars (we decided on a bottle of their Bubbling Blanc for later that evening), admiring the unique jewelry and artistic presentation at Vintaj Earth, and four delectable pieces of gourmet chocolate from Chocolat.

4. Saturday evening we got "all dolled up" for our Valentine's dinner at Woodlands, the restaurant at the resort. I had salmon, while Travis enjoyed the prime rib buffet. Seeing the sheer happiness on his face as he surveyed (and proceeded to rapturously eat) the meat in front of him was precious. You say prime rib, I say chocolate mint truffle.

5. Cuddling while watching the season premier of The Amazing Race, which is still my hands-down favorite TV show.

Random Moments in Married Life

I'm standing at the kitchen counter in my PJs, putting together a PB&J waffle sandwich for Travis' breakfast, having just rolled out of bed moments earlier. Travis comes up behind me and wraps me in a hug. He asks, "Was this a dream, or were we awake for a while really early this morning, telling 'What do you call a man with no arms and no legs...' jokes in bed?" Giggling, I respond, "Yes, that happened. You woke me up by laughing in your sleep. Confused, I woke you up and asked what was so funny. You told me about the dream you'd been having, which involved a man with no arms and no legs. Then we told a few jokes and went back to sleep."

Our First Christmas

Getting married in October ushered in a whole new era of firsts. While last Christmas was our first as a couple, this was our first Christmas as husband and wife--sharing a home, establishing new traditions, and reveling in being our own little family unit. Here's our home, decorated for the holidays:

Travis was a really good sport about letting me deck out Brutus for the holidays.
He even helped hang the ornaments from the antlers!

We spent Christmas Eve and Christmas day here in the Chicago area. On Christmas Eve we enjoyed dinner out with my Dad's side of the family, then my aunt had everyone over for dessert and games. Three of the six cousins on that side of the family got married this year, and it was fun to see how Travis and my cousin's husband liven up our family gatherings. Now that all of the cousins are adults, and the rest of the "adults" are seniors (sorry Mom and Dad, but it's true!), our get-togethers have a new feel. I think there's a greater appreciation for the value of family, and the ability to relax a little and not take ourselves so seriously (which does not come naturally for Swedes). It was a great night.

Christmas morning dawned cold and clear. My family would be coming over early afternoon for Christmas dinner. After sleeping in a bit, Travis I got up and discovered the contents of our stockings, which we had filled for one another the night before. Then we got the turkey in the oven and started in on prep for the rest of the meal. The turkey was primarily Travis' domain, while I took charge of the side dishes. Dessert was a gorgeous (and delicious!) Caramel Apple Pecan Pie, which I ordered from my friend Charity's newest endeavor, Pie Notes. The turkey turned out well, the mashed sweet potatoes were a hit, and much to Travis' delight, we had lots of leftovers. The day after Christmas we used our new Cuisinart Griddler (a great appliance!) to make Turkey-Stuffing-Cranberry Sauce Paninis on Swedish limpa bread. Best sandwich I think I've ever made. Travis snapped a pic:

Christmas, Christmastime is here...

The Christmas season is here, and I am loving having a husband to share it with. I still marvel at the fact that we're a family, though it's just the two of us. I've been signing some thank you cards, "From our family to yours..." and still get a little thrill every time.

While we were in Michigan for Thanksgiving, Travis and I made a trip to Hobby Lobby for some of the foundational elements of family traditions; namely, stockings (made ever more exciting by the fact that we actually have a mantle from which to hang them). To the uninitiated, like Travis, Hobby Lobby during any holiday season can be rather overwhelming. We took it one aisle at a time, having the most fun in the stocking aisle where we each chose the stocking that best suited us, out of the probably 100 or so styles available, and a coordinating hook for each. We also picked out a nice tree skirt. On a subsequent shopping trip-turned shopping spree at Hobby Lobby on the way home from work one day last week I picked up some gold-themed ornaments for our tree along with various frames and pieces of artwork for general wall decor. On Saturday Travis and I had a great time decorating together. With each blank white wall we adorn our apartment feels more homey and lived in. We put up a big Christmas tree in the living room and hung ornaments from Brutus' antlers in the den. I'm hoping that by the end of the week the ribbon lights and bow I ordered online will come so that we can finish decorating the tree. Once most of the elements are in place I hope to "invite you over" by posting a few pics of the finished decor.

On Friday night Travis and I experienced the festivities associated with Forest Park's Holiday Walk and Festival of Windows (for which a number of stores along Madison Street feature live window displays, some of which we found amusing, a few slightly creepy). Saturday evening after our day of decorating we headed downtown to stroll through the Christkindlmarket in Chicago's Daly Plaza, a seasonal favorite of mine ever since I first visited a few years ago. I'm happily headed back there this coming Sunday as part of an annual "holiday hang" with one of my groups of friends. I'll have to remember to take my camera this next time and snap some shots of the HUGE Christmas tree and colorful vendor booths.

Sometimes you feel like a wife...

I was catching up with a friend over lunch the other day and she asked me if I feel any different now that I'm married. My answer: yes, being married feels different, and it's got to be one of the best feelings in the world. I love being a wife. Specifically, I love being Travis' wife.

In my one and a half months of marriage so far, I've discovered that certain activities make me feel particularly wifely. This morning the feeling hit when I dropped off his clothes at the dry cleaners. The other day it washed over me as I enjoyed breakfast in bed with my husband. And I get a flash of it most weeknights when Travis arrives home from work and the first thing he does is wrap me up in a big hug.

And then there are other activities that make me feel not specifically wifely, per se, but very homemakerish. (Yes, in this blog post I am making up words. Deal with it.) For example, this evening I'm headed over to a friend's house to use her sewing machine to make a curtain for the window in my walk-in pantry, which happens to be one of my absolute favorite features of our apartment. The pantry, not the window. The window is a little weird, in fact, because it looks out on the atrium. (Though this is by no means the weirdest thing about our apartment.) For the six months that the window has been curtainless since I moved in, the contents of my pantry have been on display to anyone walking through the atrium of our building. Granted, regular traffic through there does not constitute more than a few neighbors, but said neighbors could learn quite a lot about my cooking, eating, and organizational habits if they so chose to snoop. (And with such fascinating and classified information they could...um...know that if they ever need a cup of sugar, I could help them out.) Honestly, though, it's not so much that I want to keep inquiring eyes from seeing the package of marshmallows I purchased recently (for toasting in the fireplace one of these nights), but more that I desire to spare my neighbors from shocking sights (and keep ourselves from committing indecent exposure), should I ever again forget to make coffee (which requires a visit to the pantry) only AFTER getting dressed, or should Travis decide to do another round of household chores (which call for the step stool, stored in the pantry) in his underwear.

So, anyway, sometimes you feel like a wife. And sometimes you feel like an eighth grader in home ec class. And sometimes you feel like an idiot for forgetting that the pantry window does not yet have a curtain, nor do you have clothes on.

(I would like to acknowledge that the above statements would be more appropriately stated in first rather than second person. But I've had the Almond Joy/Mounds jingle in my head since I started thinking about this post, and I couldn't bring myself to abandon the motif.)

We Do, We Did, We Will

For those of you who check in here regularly to keep up with the comings and goings and musings of Suz, I hope it came as no surprise that my postings have been scarce for the past month or so. Getting married (then honeymooning, then nesting) has taken precedence over blogging lately, but I'm starting to feel the itch to get back into the groove. However, returning to my blog after such a prolonged absence in which many significant life events took place is a bit overwhelming...where to begin? I've decided to jump back in with bite-size posts about the wedding, honeymoon, and married life.

To attempt anything comprehensive at this point is simply exhausting to even think about, but I think I can handle a series of little nuggets. So, to kick them off, I thought I'd start with one of the most joyfully sobering (oxymoron? perhaps) aspects of the wedding ceremony...our vows.

Travis and I chose to write our own vows. As we did so, we were mindful of a quote from Covenant Marriage that really stood out to us. I don't have the book handy at the moment, so I'll have to paraphrase for now. The gist of the quote was this: it is not so much the man (and woman) who keeps his vows, but the vows that keep the man (and his wife).

When we spoke our vows to one another on October 3rd, we meant and felt those promises with every fiber of our beings. But the thing about covenant vows is this: on the days that will come (and we know they will come) when we question what we meant up there at the altar, or we don't feel like keeping those promises and treating the other person the way we said we would, it's the vows that will keep us committed.

We chose to memorize our vows so that they are lodged in our brains and on our hearts. We plan to frame these vows and hang them on the wall of our bedroom as a visual reminder of what we have promised. By God's grace and in His strength, we will keep these vows; and when we stumble, may these vows keep us.

GROOM: I, Travis, take you, Suzanne, to be my wife. Before God, our families, and these friends I vow to share my life with you. With great joy I pledge myself to love you as Christ loves the Church. I vow to be the spiritual leader of our family, to follow Christ all of my days, and to depend on Him for the strength to lead with wisdom and humility. With steadfast faithfulness and unwavering commitment I will stand by your side through seasons of joy and sorrow, prosperity and adversity, sickness and health. I will laugh with you and cry with you, encourage and comfort you, cherish and know you. I promise to pray with you and for you, and to encourage and support you in becoming the woman God calls you to be. I will provide for you and protect you, seeking to make our home a place of security and rest. I promise to be open and honest with you, to listen to you and seek understanding. I vow to work through conflicts with grace and humility, extending forgiveness, even as I am forgiven in Christ.

Suzanne, I love you, and it is with great joy that I make this covenant with you and become your husband, pledging myself to be your faithful friend and closest companion for as long as we both shall live.

BRIDE: I, Suzanne, take you, Travis, to be my husband. Before God, our families, and these friends I vow to share my life with you. I will laugh with you and cry with you, care for you in sickness and in health, and stand by your side through prosperity and adversity, sharing joy and sorrow. I promise to follow Christ all of my days, to pray with you and for you, and to encourage and support you in becoming the man God calls you to be. I vow to submit to your leadership, according to God's design, through all circumstances. I promise to love and respect you as the head of our household, even as Christ is head of His body, the Church. I will endeavor to make our home a welcoming refuge and place of peace. I promise to be open and honest with you, to listen to you and seek understanding. I vow to work through conflicts with grace and humility, extending forgiveness, even as I am forgiven in Christ.

Travis, I love you, and it is with great joy that I make this covenant with you and become your wife, pledging myself to be your faithful friend and closest companion for as long as we both shall live.

Bridal S-H-O-W-E-R

This past Saturday my wonderful bridesmaids (pictured with me below) threw me a delightful Scrabble-themed bridal shower in Wheaton. So much fun, and such a fitting theme for me! It was incredible to look out on so many dear women from all different phases of my life - some who have been there for all 29 years (my mom, aunts and cousin), a few who have been friends since elementary and middle school, others from high school and college and since, girls from three different seasons of Harvest small groups, a couple friends' moms who have become friends in their own right, and my new sister. How blessed am I!
What makes a shower a Scrabble shower, you ask? (Well, my Aunt Lori asked, at least, so I will answer here for her and anyone else who might be curious!) To start with, in their invitation each guest was given a letter and asked to incorporate that letter into their gift and also come prepared to share a piece of advice starting with that letter. So, for example, I received napkins for N, Oxo utensils for O, wine glasses for G, ivory sheets for I, a cookbook and cake pans for C, etc. I also received some great pieces of marital advice, including:

• Talk - don't assume he can read your mind. (He can't.)
• Kiss often.
• Cuddling is free.
  
• Pray together.
• Be best friends, but keep your girlfriends.
• Make him do the heavy lifting.
• Keep Jesus at the center of your marriage.
• Choose to focus on the 90% you love about him and not the 10% that drives you crazy.

Decorations included wedding-related words spelled out in construction paper Scrabble "tiles" scattered about the walls (see photo below). We played two games, the first an "unscramble the wedding words and phrases" game, and the second bridal Scattergories. The favors were adorable and delicious (well, the edible one, anyway). Bethany made chocolate-covered Oreo pops and wrote a letter (and number) on each to look like a Scrabble tile. Allison made magnets out of real Scrabble tiles (which you can apparently buy in bulk on eBay - who knew?!) with sets made up of words like FUN, SMILE, JOY, LOVE, and I DO. (These are pictured below, though I know it's hard to tell what they are.) Food included cupcakes that spelled out "Congratulations, Suzanne!" (I ate the last of the leftover cupcakes with my lunch today. Yum!)

Awful Library Books and Wedding Vows

Joining Cake Wrecks and Awkward Family Photos on the list of sites that make me chuckle (see below right) is Awful Library Books, a blog by two librarians (Mary & Holly) that documents actual library holdings. Explain the site's authors, "The items featured here are so old, obsolete, awful or just plain stupid that we are horrified that people might be actually checking these items out and depending on the information."

The timing of my discovery of this site is quite appropriate, since just this past Friday Travis and I applied for our Oak Park Public Library cards. I didn't have "Awful Library Books" in mind as I combed through the selection of wedding related titles, but now I want to go back and reconsider the offerings in light of this blog...because I know I passed over several volumes based on their apparent obsolescence. (They say you can't just a book by it's cover, but really, sometimes you can. If it's pink and decorated with doilies, I'm gonna say it's probably not the wedding reference book for me, and that it likely wasn't printed in this century.)

One book I was pleased to find on the shelves (and subsequently checked out) was The Complete Book of Christian Wedding Vows: The Importance of How You Say "I Do". Travis and I have started working on the various elements of the ceremony, and one of the tasks related to that (though "task" seems too laborious a word to describe a very meaningful and enjoyable activity) is writing our vows - those promises we will make to one another that will bind us together in covenant commitment.

With my own wedding approaching, I find that news of others' engagements, marriages, separations, and divorces affect me more--or maybe just differently--than they used to. Several "friends" (the Facebook kind who were legitimate friends at one point in my life and are now merely acquaintances who share a common history from a past season of life and spy on one another's lives via the ubiquitous social networking site) have gotten married in the last few weeks and months. I find that I am so very happy for them, in a sappy, cock-my-head-to-the-side-as-I-click-through-their-wedding-pictures-and-sigh kind of way, and yet I am also sobered by the statistics that tell me that one out of every two of their marriages will not last till death does them part.

When I heard (also via Facebook) that my high school youth pastor and his wife celebrated their 40th wedding anniversary, I couldn't have been happier for them. I clapped my hands in delighted applause, breaking the silence in the solitude of my office.

When I heard the news that Jon & Kate Gosselin are separating I was deeply saddened, willing them to instead demonstrate to a watching world that a marriage is worth fighting for, that it's worth the hard work of salvaging and forgiving and rebuilding. That what's best for their children is not a household atmosphere devoid of tension and conflict, but a family intact with two present parents who are fiercely committed to the vows they made 10 years ago (and incidentally just renewed very publicly on an episode that aired last season).

And when I saw the headline of this article from Time Magazine (Is There Hope for the American Marriage?), I found that I wanted to read it...to find out what the author thinks the answer is. Here are a few notable quotes:

"In the e-mails exchanged between the governor [of South Carolina, Mark Sanford] and his girlfriend, they trip over themselves to praise the other's virtues. She was 'special and unique,' 'glorious'; he was a man of emotional generosity who 'brought happiness and love to my life.' These two humanitarians were engaged not only in worshipping each other's high-mindedness but also in destroying another woman's home, hobbling her children emotionally and setting her up for humiliation of a titanic proportion. The squalor and pain that resulted from the Sanford and Ensign midlife crises make manifest a bleak truth that the late writer Leonard Michaels once observed in his journal: 'Adultery is not about sex or romance. Ultimately, it is about how little we mean to one another.'"

"There is no other single force causing as much measurable hardship and human misery in this country as the collapse of marriage."

"Think of the touching moments on Inauguration Night, when at ball after ball, crowds of young people swooned at the sight of Barack and Michelle Obama dancing together, artlessly but sincerely and clearly with great affection. They are an immensely appealing couple, and it was a historic night, but what we saw reflected in the faces of those awed young people — and in the country's insatiable appetite for photographs of the First Family's private life — was wonder at the sight of a middle-aged man and woman still together, still in love."

'What we teach [our children] about the true meaning of marriage will determine a great deal about our fate."

June...so far.

As it tends to do, now that summer is here it's already packed with activity and flying by. I just downloaded some photos from the camera and it made me realize how much we've been up to in just the past two weeks. Curious? Well, here's a little photographic overview of the first half of June:
On Friday, June 5th Travis and I joined with hundreds of other volunteers from our church to serve with Feed My Starving Children, an organization that sends nourishing meals to starving and malnourished children around the world. Each meal packet contains a chicken flavored powder with 20 vitamins and minerals, dehydrated vegetables, soy, and rice. Over 4 days on two campuses, Harvesters packaged over 600,000 meals. And, we had fun doing it!On Saturday, June 6th we saw Gipsy Kings in concert at Ravinia. The weather was unseasonably COLD (in the low 50's), and so we shivered and huddled together for warmth as we picnicked on the lawn. We went with our friends Allison & Alex and Nate & Bethany, who helped me surprise Travis with a little birthday celebration at the end of our meal. I brought a cake and candles, and my friends distracted Travis and blocked his view while I attempted to fit 32 candles on a small cake and get them all lit at the same time (a breeze made the latter endeavor quite difficult, so I finally settled for the majority). When we unveiled the cake to Travis and began to sing Happy Birthday, we were surprised when at least 50 people seated around us joined in the singing!
Tuesday, June 9th was my small group's first "Group Serve" night of the summer. The second Tuesday of each month during our normal small group meeting time we're volunteering to help out ECFA, a great non-profit ministry located in Wheaton, by cleaning their offices. We had a lot of fun serving together the first week, and look forward to July & August!
On Friday the 12th Allison & Alex took Travis and I out to dinner at Gaetano's in Forest Park for a joint celebration of our June birthdays. We did the chef's 4 course tasting menu and enjoyed every bite. In addition to exquisite taste, Gaetano's puts a lot into their presentation. Pictured here is one of the salad plates (pear poached in spiced Chianti served with watercress dressed with apple balsamic, and a warm gorgonzola, walnuts, and mascarpone fondue) and dessert (that's ice cream, chocolate cake, and tiramisu in the flower pot!).
Yesterday morning Travis picked me up at 3:30 (in the morning - did you catch that part?) to head up to the harbor in Waukegan. From there we went out on an 8 hour fishing charter with one of Travis' friends and one of his former students. The fish were not as responsive as the guys would have liked (only 4 fish were brought in, out of 9 bites), but it was a beautiful day to be out on the water, everybody went home with some salmon fillets (which is what I'll be preparing for dinner tonight), and I got to spend some quality "shoulder-to-shoulder" time with Travis that I think helped me better understand my fiance and his love for sports that involve killing things to eat.And finally, last night we had our second-to-last premarital counseling session. Cindy has made dinner for us each time we've met, so this time I volunteered to bring dessert, which gave me an excuse to throw together a pretty summer trifle. We've really enjoyed our sessions with Dave & Cindy and feel like they've been beneficial, giving us a lot to think and talk about as we prepare for marriage. Last night, however, I had a hard time focusing on what was being said, formulating answers that made sense, and not getting defensive about probing questions. Lesson learned: PMS + only 4 hours of sleep + 8 hours in the sun + premarital counseling = not a great combo. I am thankful that everyone took my out-of-nowhere tears gracefully in stride. :)

Though not photographically documented, during the first half of June we were also busy with Travis' big move out of the house where he'd lived for several years. Most of his things are now in our guest bedroom, from whence they will be integrated into the rest of the apartment. Between now and the wedding, Travis will be living with a co-worker in Oak Park who offered him an extra bedroom.

And what will the rest of the month include? Unpacking and putting away Travis' things, more get togethers with friends, my birthday celebration (Travis has something cooked up!), the meeting of the parents, and some hard core wedding planning.

Happy Birthday, Honey!

Today marks the 32nd birthday of my handsome fiance!

We enjoyed the gorgeous weather yesterday afternoon by walking into town, spreading out a blanket in the park, and playing Scrabble in the dappled sunshine. As we were strolling along afterward, Travis commented that this year promises to be his best yet. Anticipating my own birthday at the end of this month, I feel the same way. Looking back, we see how richly we were blessed even as we traveled our separate paths that providentially intersected last February. As I consider the journey of companionship and love that began that day and stretches to the present, and eagerly anticipate what lies ahead, I'm simply amazed at this love God has given us.

Travis, you are a more faithful friend, a more humble leader, and a more tender lover than I could have ever imagined for myself as a partner in life. You have my respect, my love, and my promise to walk alongside of you in covenant commitment each day of our life together. Happy birthday, my love!

Inside the Mind of a Bridesmaid

This past weekend I had the honor of standing up as a bridesmaid as my friend Bethany pledged her constant faith and abiding love to her new husband, Nate. (Congrats, friends!) As I stood there at the front of the church, off to the side, to bear witness to the event, my mind was a flurry of varied thoughts:
- she's such a beautiful bride
- don't lock your knees, Suzanne! bend, bend!
- these flowers smell good
- my feet hurt
- oh, just look at the love beaming from his face!
- her veil is gorgeous
- i like that music
- i wonder what comes next
- i should have read over the program more carefully
- awww, look how happy they are!
- ooh, i really like how that was worded
- in a little over 5 months it's going to be me saying my vows - wow!
- why am i crying right now?
- why didn't i bring a tissue up here?
- i like that element a lot - have to remember that
- yay! i'm so happy for them
- i need to remember to ask bethany about that
- i get to dance with my fiance tonight - whoo hoo!
- i wonder if i'll cry when i'm at the altar
- i'm hungry. why didn't i eat more at lunch?
- hee hee, that was funny
- how can i subtly shift my feet without falling off this step?
- marriage is amazing. i don't know how anyone can enter into it lightly.

Yes, there are a lot of thoughts that crowd for attention inside the mind of a bridesmaid, most of them fleeting. The thoughts and impressions that linger this time around have to do with how sacred and mysterious and incredible marriage is, and what a HUGE deal it is that in a little over 5 months, I will be the one exchanging vows with Travis and entering into a covenant that will bind us together for life. I've always loved weddings, but with my own on the horizon, I find myself impacted by not only the joy but also the weightiness of the occasion.

Food for Thought

"Too many people spend their entire marriages trying to conform their spouses into their image rather than allowing God to conform their spouses into His image."
- Michael Sytsma, in Saving Grace

Food for Thought

I'm currently reading Covenant Marriage by Fred Lowery. My soon-to-be-married friend Bethany recommended it to me and lent me her copy. I'm enjoying it and getting so much out of it that I decided I needed to order my own copy so that I can highlight and underline "the good stuff" for myself, pass it on to Travis when I'm done with it, and keep it around to spark conversations, serve as a reference, and inform the marriage for which we are steadily preparing. (Related aside: we have our first pre-marital counseling session tomorrow night.)

So far I'm about half-way through the book. Lowery's thesis is this: American society views marriage as a contract. God designed marriage as a covenant. Understanding the difference, and deciding how you will view and approach your marriage, makes all the difference. Basic, but pretty profound at the same time.

I look forward to finishing the book and perhaps posting a more thorough review here later, but for now I wanted to post a nugget from Chapter 5 that particularly stood out to me as I read during the train ride from Wheaton to Chicago Monday evening to meet Travis for our consultation with the DJ. It's a quote from David Jeremiah that Lowery inserts in his discussion of "where it all started" in Genesis.

The man is restless while he misses the rib that was taken out of his side. The woman is restless until she gets under man's arm from where she was taken. It is humbling to the woman to know that she was created for the man, but it is to her glory to know that she alone can complete him. Likewise it is humbling to the man to know that he is incomplete without the woman, but it is to his glory to know that the woman was created for him.