You Mock My Pants

It has recently come to my attention that a series of statements can be made much more interesting by replacing one of the words with "pants." [For this I am indebted to Jason Boyett, who employed this tactic with lines from Star Wars and Jonathan Edwards' "Sinners in the Hands of An Angry God" on his blog.] I've decided to try this with some classic lines from one of my favorite movies, The Princess Bride.

Farmboy, polish my horse's pants. (Buttercup)

She doesn't get eaten by the pants at this time. (Grandpa)

Pants cannot stop true love. (Westley)

Hello. My name is Inigo Montoya. You killed my pants. Prepare to die. (Inigo)

You mock my pants. (Buttercup)

You rush a miracle man, you get rotten pants. (Miracle Max)

You were not hired for your pants, you hippopotamic land mass. (Vizzini)

You be careful. People in pants cannot be trusted. (Fezzik)

We face each other as God intended. Sportsmanlike. No tricks, no pants, skill against skill alone. (Fezzik)

I challenge you to a battle of pants. (Westley)

You only think I guessed wrong! That's what's so funny! I switched pants when your back was turned! (Vizzini)

Really that's all this is, except that instead of sucking water, I'm sucking pants. (Count Rugen)

Please consider me as an alternative to pants. (Prince Humperdinck)