One for the Townies

LOCAL ECONOMY SUFFERS GREAT LOSS*

WHEATON – A local pedestrian noted yesterday that the women’s clothing boutique on the corner of Hale St and Wesley in downtown Wheaton appears to have closed its doors forever to the few women and misguided men who frequented the shop.

Though it has been quite some time since local citizens had taken any notice of the establishment, A Woman, Ltd. had long been a source of confusion for visitors of this moderate-sized suburb, who puzzled at the store’s odd name and its propensity for displaying flashy and outdated swimsuits in the store’s windows year-round.

Regarding this blow to the town's economy, one Wheaton resident commented, “A Woman, Ltd. will be missed. Not because I ever shopped there, or even felt an iota of curiosity that might have prompted me to cross its threshold, but because every struggling suburban downtown area needs a woman’s boutique that defies good business logic. Yes, this is a loss for the women, but thankfully the men still have Sandberg’s.”

Representatives of A Woman, Ltd. could not be reached for comment.

*Please note: This article is facetious, though the event reported here is sadly true.